Chistmas Time!!

This year I decided we needed a little help to really get into the holiday spirit. Luckily I know a great group of ladies from an online forum (my dad calls them my imaginary friends...nice huh?) who have amazing ideas. They've been talking about advent calendars.

You know, there are those ones you can buy at the store that have a piece of chocolate counting down each day til Christmas. Or there are the ones with little doors where you can hide a little toy or treat. Those are cute and all but if you have more than one kid then there has to be trading off if you are up to listening to the fighting and whining every day, or one for each child if you're not. Fun. Not really.

But leave it to my imaginary friends to put a fresh spin on an old tradition. Instead treating your family to a mini sugar rush, why don't you plan an activity for the entire family to enjoy each day. Genius I tell you! Pure genius :)

So that is exactly what I've done (with some help from my mom.....Thanks Mom!). We have a fun activity planned for every day leading to Christmas. Some are simple like reading a story or watching a movie. Some are creative like building a gingerbread house. And some are a little more exciting like going to Zoo Lights. We have some religious ones planned to hopefully help the kids remember the reason for the season too. Whatever the activity it will be spent with family. I can't think of a better way to bring some holiday cheer.

I think this may just turn out to be my favorite part of the holiday season this year!

Right Now

We are waiting oh so patiently for the kids to go to sleep so we can have a date at home. We're going to have dinner by ourselves and watch a movie and I'm sure it will be lovely.

What's even more lovely are the sounds coming from Elliot's room. No, he's not snoring......yet anyway. He is singing "scripture power....keeps me safe from sin". I love his little voice. I love how fast he learns things (especially when there is a song to teach with). I just love him :)

Now go to sleep Elliot :P

Thankful Thursday!

It's that time of the week (or decade, since it's been that long it seems) again. So pull on your thankful trousers and let's get down to business.....

1. Yummy smelling laundry detergent. Pretty lame, I know, but I really mean it. When we ran out of laundry detergent I decided to try something new. We bought some apple mango tango scented Gain (ooooooooh, fancy) and I'm telling you what....it is seriously like the commercials.

You know the ones. I'm sure you've seen them. There is one with one guy sniffing the other guy while they are celebrating a good play during some kind of a ball game. I know there are others but that's the one I can remember right off the top of my head. Seriously, it really does make laundry and and even just wearing clothes* a lot more enjoyable.

*disclaimer....I do not know, nor have I ever wandered around in the buff. Honestly I am one of the most modest people you will ever meet....I would wear clothes made out of tree bark if that's all there was just because I like to be covered up that. much.

2. I was taught about God and faith from a young age. This year has been a big struggle for me. One trial right after another. I know I'm not the only one so you must know what I'm talking about. But no matter how hard things have gotten, there is one thing that continually creeps into my mind....my faith. The knowledge that I have that there is an all knowing God, and He is my Heavenly Father. I am literally his daughter. And no matter how hard things get I can go to Him at ANY time.

In fact, one particularly hard day, I convinced myself that it would be easier to not feel the need to differentiate between right and wrong. To be able to just kind of float through life doing whatever I want. To not believe in God (gasp....blasphemous I know but it happened so there it is). So I tried it. I tried alllllllllll afternoon. And when I found myself about to pray to ask for help to not believe in God I realized it was hopeless. I'm a believer and always will be.

3. The Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship. Wow! That's almost all there is to say about that. But no need to fear, I've always been known for finding words when there are none to be found (or perhaps just when I shouldn't *blush*)

I recently decided to embark on a new project. I'm not quite ready to announce what that project is but suffice it to say I have also found myself doing some serious studying. Studying that will hopefully help with my project. In my studying I found my way to the Maxwell Institute (it is part of BYU and used to be known as FARMS as far as I know....but if I'm being honest back in the day my mom told me about such things I just found it boring and turned my brain off until she was done talking). But now....oh......hmmmm.......yeah, wow is pretty much all I can say about it. If ever you are wondering about something scriptural this is the place to go. Their mission statement says-

The Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship exists to:

• Describe and defend the Restoration through highest quality scholarship
• Provide critically edited, primary resources (ancient religious texts) to scholars and lay persons around the world
• Build bridges of understanding and goodwill to Muslim scholars by providing superior editions of primary texts
• Provide an anchor of faith in a sea of LDS Studies

Really super cool! Check it out sometime!

I could add some more, but I think I'll save some for next week.

Now it's your turn =)

It's Not Thursday Yet....

So I think I'm going to have a Whiny Wednesday moment here real quick.

I just tried to schedule an appointment at a local spa. BJ gave me a gift certificate for my birthday and I haven't had time to redeem it yet. No big deal, the thing doesn't expire for a whole year.

I just hopped on the computer to take one last look at the website to decide for sure what I wanted to do, but when I got to the page all it said was "this website is no longer active". Hmmmm, that's a little weird.

So I decided to just go ahead and call.....AND THE NUMBER HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED! I'm completely bummed.

I got an awesome gift for my birthday and never got to use it. Lame.

At least So You Think You Can Dance is on tonight.

Thankful Thursday

This week I am extremely thankful for BYU Education Week, for all of the people that have made the event possible, and for all of the people that have made it possible for me to go. My mom worked out a deal with my Aunt and my cousin that if they would watch my kids for two days so I could go to Education Week, she would treat them to the other two days. It has been just incredible. I feel all sorts of edified. I feel well fed, spiritually speaking. Heck, I just feel down right warm and fuzzy!

It is extremely difficult to listen to sacrament meeting(and therefore be spiritually uplifted) when you have two little ones crawling all over you asking for fruit snacks or crayons or why it's not okay to play with transformers at church. So it has been pure bliss to sit completely still and just listen. To have the spirit speak things to my mind and to my heart. To recognize some areas where I need to try a little harder but also to realize that I'm mostly doing OK. For the first time in a while I feel at peace. This is just what I needed.

Thanks Mom, Aunt Julie, Aubrey, and of course BJ for making this happen for me this week :)

Hello Friends.....Long time, no see!

Totally my own fault and I know it.

I promise to be better though.

There has been a lot going on over the past little while and I'm ashamed to say that I've spent a good deal of that time wallowing in my own self pity. But, NO MORE!

So get ready, blogosphere....you're going to be seeing a lot more of me ;)

One More Year with our Miracle :)

Well, that time of year has come again. Tomorrow is Elliot's birthday. This year I am just plain excited. That is a much different feeling than in years past. The day he was born I was scared. His first birthday something was just "off" (we were so happy he had come so far but there was some apprehension behind the celebrating). His second birthday I was dealing with morning sickness. His third birthday was starting to feel more normal, and this year is pure elation.

He has come so far and is doing so well. He is no longer a baby (,"I'm a big boy!) He is getting bigger all the time, and he is healthier than he has ever been. *Knock on wood*. He is truly a miracle!

This is one of the very first pictures ever taken of Elliot.

Back then I worried if he'd even make it through the night. It was painful to be away from him. He was so fragile and I knew he just needed his mommy and daddy. Eventually the fear of losing him subsided and instead I worried that he'd still be on oxygen during his senior prom.

He eventually outgrew that too. Then we worried if he'd make it through a winter without a hospital stay, or if he would need another surgery. But now we are fortunate enough to have different worries.

Like if he will hate me for the rest of his life for subjecting him to daily growth hormone injections. Or if he'll ever be fully potty trained (maybe he'll be wearing a pull-up to prom instead of that cannula, ha). Now we are able to worry if we are teaching him how to make correct decisions, or showing him often enough how much we love him.

I know that as a parent the worry never really goes away, but I am so grateful that we have come far enough to put our worry on the back burner for one day....because you better believe there will be nothing but celebrating tomorrow!

Thankful Thursday

Holy cow, it's been a long time since I've even opened blogger! It's high time I came back and shared a few things I'm thankful for :)

This week I'm thankful that...

I got Evie's Easter dress done on time....with some assistance from my mom. I was getting a little worried that I wasn't going to make it but we got it done just in time.

BJ bought a new cd drive for my computer today. This is really good news. I haven't posted in so long partly be cause my dumb computer can't read the discs with all our cute new pictures on them. But that will be changing on Monday, yay!

My good friend Jill posted this article on her blog a while ago really. I had been thinking about this for a while anyway, but when Jill posted the article on her blog it really made me think. This is the other reason I've haven't been posting as much. I've been trying really hard to wean myself off the internet. I also am not sure I would call my internet use an addiction, but I definitely have spent more time online than I would care to admit. At one point, with a very sick baby and some seriously messed up emotions, the internet and the friends I made there were my lifeline. But now I have a healthy, beautiful family. And these are the moments that I'm going to look back on and miss. My sweet little kids are growing up too fast, and I don't want to miss a single moment of it. Especially not because I was too busy worrying about what was happening on facebook or on someone's blog. I love you all, but it's time to readjust my priorities a little :)

We had a Playdate. Elliot's little friend Matty got to come over to play for a couple of hours today. It was SO fun to watch them interact and have such a fun time. The must have played with every single toy Elliot owns. And it took Elliot's focus off Evie for a while...I don't remember the last time the poor girl has gone two hours without being pinched or pushed. I'm sure she was grateful for Matty too!

What about you? What are you thankful for this week?

A Strange Request

While we were out to dinner last Saturday we were approached by a guy (probably in his early 20's) who had a really strange request for us. I was away from the table when it happened but was told all about it when I returned.

I guess the kid came over to the table and asked my mom if he could take a picture with her little boy. Elliot was sitting by my mom but she deferred the question to BJ, but they were both pretty confused by the request. I guess the kid could tell that BJ was confused so he told him that he just had to have a picture with Elliot because he looks JUST like the kid in Meet the Robinsons.


I can see it, what do you think? My mom has always said that Elliot looks like a cartoon character.....I guess she wasn't kidding :)

At least everyone seems to like his new glasses. I should add that we took the rectangular ones back and got him a different pair that are more round, they fit him better and look nicer too!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for.....

Hope. Life sure would be a lot harder if it weren't for hope. No matter how bad things get, there is always hope. And coupled with faith in Christ, hope can get us through anything.

My Beautiful Kids. No matter how frustrated this mommy gets during the day, I have two adorable kids that love me and give me good cuddles before bed. I wouldn't trade those hugs and kisses for anything.

My Talents. You know it's interesting, a lot of times I think that we're given talents to bless the lives of others. That is definitely true and I do feel it is important to use our talents to help others. But I also think that our individual talents were given as gifts to bless ourselves too. I don't know about you, but the things I consider my talents are things that I enjoy. So when I use them I may be blessing others but I'm also bring fulfillment and happiness into my own life.

What are you thankful for this week?

This is What Happens

When your 14-month old refuses to take a nap.....

How Do You Make a Cute Boy Even Cuter?

Put cute glasses on him!

We had the Neo-natal follow up clinic for Elliot today. We get to go at least once a year (usually more than that) and see a slew of medical professionals all in one spot. We see a pediatrician, a developmental psychiatrist, a speech therapist, nutritionist, physical and occupational therapists (if needed) and an awesome pediatric ophthalmologist.

We got to see the ophthalmologist first. Actually, he caught us before we even had a chance to sign in. He put some drops in Elliot's eyes and sent us back out to the waiting room. When we went back in about 20 minutes later, he asked me if we had any history of childhood eye problems in our family. Well BJ has worn glasses since he was a child, so I guess so. Then the Doctor told me that Elliot needed glasses.

It was funny because I've been thinking for a while that he might need glasses. For no reason in particular, it's just been in the back of my mind. So I wasn't really surprised. He gave us Elliot's prescription and sent us on our way. That was really the only thing that changed with today's clinic....everything else looks great. Yay!!

After Daddy finished work, we all headed to the mall. Even Magah, Papa, and Ashley. We picked out some glasses which was tough to do because they were all so big. Even the ones we picked were too big, but they were one of the smallest pairs and looked the best.

After dinner we went back to Lenscrafters to pick up his new glasses. I think he looks pretty cute! They are definitely going to take some getting used to but in the long run I think he'll be happy that he can see better now :)

New Adventures

Due to some extenuating circumstances in my extended family, we are (unfortunately) taking a break from the Preemie Tee making business. My mom needs to take a break and focus more of her attention on some family matters. I totally support her in this decision, but it was more than a little sad when we packaged up the last orders a few days ago. I have devoted so much of my time for the past three years to this business. It's meant so much to me to be able to "give back". To feel like I was repaying some of the blessings we were given while in the NICU, even in the smallest of ways. Of course I'll never be able to repay all the miracles that were performed on our behalf, but it was nice to think that we might have been making the NICU roller-coaster ride a little easier for someone else.

This isn't the end of Elliot's Preemie Tees. Just a break. At least that's what my mom says. I hope she's right.

Anyway, here I sit at a crossroad. I'm sad to be leaving my Preemie Tee making days behind (even temporarily) but I'm excited to try my hand at being a real stay at home mom. I think I did the stay at home thing for a couple of months. Elliot was still completely immobile when I started helping my mom though. And I'm beginning to realize how NOT stay at home I've been over the past three years. Even though I have called myself a stay at home mom, I think it would have been more accurate to call myself a working mom who just happened to have her kids with her all day too. I see now lots of ways that I've been distracted and lots of ways that my family has sacrificed for me to be able to help with the business. But that is all going to change.

In fact it started changing today. I made a weekly menu and did REAL grocery shopping for the first time in who knows how long. I about passed out when it came time to pay the cashier for the food even though it was far less that what we have been spending. Fast food is SO convenient, especially when you've been working all day. But it adds up really fast. Now I'll actually have time to cook real dinners, and save our family some money. Plus I have several closets that are just dying to be cleaned out. A quilt and some Christmas stockings to finish. Some redecorating to do. Places to explore. Playgroups to attend (at least I hope....they might not even have a playgroup around anymore) And a branch full of people I'm dying to get to know (after nearly four years of living here).

I'm a little scared too. Who knows if I'll be any good at any of this. I guess there's only one way to find out.

Question

Why do kids seem to think that a five minute "nap" on the way home from church (and really I'm being generous on the length) is enough nap for the whole day?

Anyone know the answer? Anyone at all?

Thankful Thursday

I haven't done one of these in a while and it's time. So here goes nothing....

The Spirit. I've had some interesting experiences this week. I would by lying if I said they were all pleasant, but I can definitely see how the Spirit has guided me through this week. And how some of the things that happened, had to happen at such precise times. There's no way I could have orchestrated that. All of this gives me hope that the Spirit will continue to guide me if I let it. And if I do, no matter what happens, everything will be okay.

My amazing Husband. He's ALWAYS here when I need him. He gives the best hugs. He knows just what to say to comfort me and he knows when it would be better to just hold me and let me cry. He makes me smile and he makes me laugh. He's a great daddy. And he goes out for ice cream whenever I ask, even if it means changing back into his clothes after he has gotten comfy in his jammies. I love you honey!

The Pfizer Bridge Program. This is something I just recently found out about, thanks to Elliot. We have decided to give growth hormone therapy a try because of his small size. He is still not even on the charts. And his peers are getting taller and taller as he stays pretty much the same. Unfortunately, our insurance doesn't cover growth hormone shots because they aren't "necessary". A years worth of shots we might actually be doing this for two or more years) can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $30,000. OUCH! Luckily, the Pfizer Bridge program swooped in and saved they day. They are covering the cost of Elliot's shots. One hundred percent. For the whole year (we'll have re-apply next year). Amazing! We thank them for giving us a chance to help our son be a little taller.

I'm sure there's more, but I better go eat that ice cream BJ just went to get for me....before it melts :) What are YOU thankful for this week?

Bronchitis, Gastroenteritis, and RSV.....OH My!

I could go on. But since I'm feeling completely drained and a little grumpy right now, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to hear it. Let's just say it's been a hard/long month or more and leave it at that.

Tomorrow is a new day.....hopefully a healthy one :)

Have You Ever Had

One of those moments where you know you need to keep a straight face but you just can't?


That happened to me today.


I was busy cleaning when I noticed that Elliot was playing with the blinds, trying to hit Evie with them. So I asked him nicely to stop. Nothing.

So I asked again. Not even a flinch. Again.....STILL nothing. So I raised my voice "Elliot.....STOP".

And that's when it happened.

He turned. He looked at me with the crustiest look on his face. Pointed his little finger at me and said

"You want a piece of me???"

I could not help myself. I laughed. Hard. I about peed my pants right there in the kitchen.

Where does he learn this stuff? At least he stopped, right?

Memory Lane

I haven't done one of these for a long time, so really I'm due.

My sister-in-law, Tami, has been posting things in various places about how excited she is for her 5th wedding anniversary (congratulations Tami and Nate!!). Seeing all of that has reminded me that it was this time of year, five years ago that BJ and I first met. Crazy! Some of you know how we met and some of you don't, so I thought I'd share "our story".

I came home from my mission in October, 2003, to a home I had never seen before. My family moved from Colorado to Kansas while I was gone. I had never even been to Kansas before. I came home, found a job, and eventually decided that the best place to meet people would be the single's ward. I was a little disappointed. That particular single's ward seemed to be full of people that were about to get "kicked out" for being too old. Don't get me wrong, I had a LOT of fun there with the people that I met but the dating pool seemed to be pretty small.

I must have complained about it because my mom suggested I sign up for one of those LDS dating sites. I told my friend Christy about it thinking that she'd get as big a laugh from the idea as me, but she actually though it sounded interesting. At the very least, we could laugh at everyone else. So we signed up one afternoon. I wish I could remember what I wrote in my profile, but this....is the picture I posted. I used to be so skinny :) It was only a few days before I had a "smile" from BJ. I checked out his profile...(where it said his little sister Tami had just gotten married) and sent a smile back. Then he sent a message. And an invite for instant messaging. And pretty soon we were chatting online every day. He even hooked up a webcam to prove to my mom that he wasn't a 65 year old man.

Then he asked if he could call, but I decided it would be safer if I called him (with a calling card so my number didn't show up on caller id). Even though that first call was a bit of a bust, it wasn't long before we were talking every night (after my parents went to bed.....I was being sneaky).

I had already decided to come out to BYU for school and since BJ was in Kaysville we decided to meet when I moved out here. We had planned to meet at the temple, figuring that was a safe place. My dad vetoed that idea as soon as he caught wind of it. He said that if I really wanted to meet this guy,we could meet while he was helping me get settled. So sure enough, our first date was with my dad. But we met up again only a few hours later... after my dad had gone back to his hotel :)

Pretty soon BJ was skipping class to come visit me. I saw him pretty much everyday. We did everything together....he even went job hunting with me. We were engaged by the end of the month.....
and married four months later. When it's right, it's right.....no sense in waiting.

So there you have it. We've known each other for five years. And have been married for 4 1/2. In some ways it seems so much longer because of all we've been through. But in other ways it feels like it was just yesterday. I'm so grateful for him. There's no one else I could possilbly love this much or want to share forever with. He's my perfect match.

A Night Out on the Town

I know the pictures show us at home, but we actually had a fun night out tonight. After a weekend of being held captive while mommy was so sick she could hardly move, let alone breathe we decided it might be fun to get out for a while.

I heard of a bakery opening in Provo, and with my new found love of cup cakes I was dying to check it out. We hopped in the car as soon as daddy got home and payed a visit to the Sweet Tooth Fairy and sweet she sure was! The bakery was so cute, warm, and inviting. And the owner was just as sweet as her treats. If you're ever in Provo you should stop by her shop.

We decided it wasn't exactly responsible to eat treats before eating something a bit more substantial, so we braved Red Robin for dinner. And the kids were amazing. So well behaved. It was really nice and relaxing. But it made me wonder where my children were ;)

We came home to eat our sweets. They are SO yummy! BJ and the kids got cookies and I got a cup cake. Seriously one of the best cup cakes I've ever had. The frosting was amazing. I would seriously pay for just a spoonful of that frosting. Elliot didn't eat so much of his cookie (that's okay because guess who gets the leftovers) but Evie devoured hers. I can't blame her....my cup cake was gone in about two seconds.

More Firsts

A couple weekends ago... hmmmm, when was that? I really want to remember the actual date.....oh yeah it was January 17th! Anyway, on January 17th we took Evie to get her first hair cut. Magah gave Elliot his first hair cut but she was a little uneasy cutting Evie's hair. Girl hair is harder to cut than boy hair, she says. She's probably right.

We didn't cut much of Evie's hair. Just a trim really. She was just starting to look a little disheveled. You can hardly tell the difference but I think she looks cute anyway.

Here are a few pictures from our adventure.

what the heck is going on here?

I really don't think I like this!!

Oooooo, pretty animals

She liked it a little better once she could see herself in the mirror (not that she's even looking)

The after shot....So pretty!

One Crazy Week

I completely missed "Thankful Thursday" this week. I promise I have a really good excuse, which I will now explain. It's kind of a long story though.....

Some of you know that Elliot has had difficulty sleeping for AGES. He would go to sleep relatively well only to wake up a few, short hours later. He would then calm down slightly but wake up again an hour or less later, completely hysterical and refuse to go back to sleep in his bed. So he would come into our room to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand nightmares. And I want to be sensitive to my son's needs but it was getting really old! And after last Sunday (that brought the total of the bad sleeping nights up to at least 4 months) I about lost it.

Somehow we were able to keepour cool and calmly discuss what the problem was. Elliot told us that he was scared. We asked what he was scared of. "Are you scared of the dark? We can get you a new night light". That wasn't the problem. "We leave your door open and you can call us whenever you need us". Yep, he understands that. So BJ decided to take Elliot back to his room and have him show us the problem. He went back to his room and said "Jesus is scaring me" and pointed to the corner where his bean bag chair was sitting. There was book of paintings of Jesus sitting on the bean bag so BJ moved the book. We got our shoes on, went to school, and left it at that.

During the day I just couldn't shake the feeling that something else needed to be fixed in his room to make him feel more safe. So we hit up WalMart and bought a new night light. Then we came home and I decided to "de-junk" a little in his room thinking that less stuff means less shadows and less scary things. So I cleaned up the toys but still felt that it wasn't enough. So I asked BJ to move the bean bag chair out of his room while I fed Evie dinner.

I was out in the family room when I heard and "Oh my GOSH!!" from Elliot's room. So I went to see what the big deal was and this is what BJ found behind Elliot's bean bag chair....

Yep, that's right. Mold. And not just any mold. Black mold. We were SHOCKED. But suddenly the sniffles and nightly coughing fits that had lasted for months seemed to make sense. It's amazing how quickly your perspective can change. Instantly something that had been a huge bother for months changed into a huge blessing. Who knows how sick he might be if he had been left to sleep more than the three hours we could actually get him to stay in his room.

We cleaned it up with bleach and aired out his room. But we decided we'd rather be safe than sorry. So BJ took some pictures and sent them to the apartment office. They sent the maintenance man over to take a look. All he did was knock on the wall in a few places and tell me that the drywall appeared to be dry so it "must have just been a surface mold". Um, sorry but that's not good enough.

Luckily the office manager must have been as concerned bout this as we were because the maintenance supervisor was sent to take a look soon after. And he was much more thorough. This is how he left Elliot's wall...


Luckily he didn't find any mold INSIDE the wall. But he DID find a leak into the wall from the porch. It was nice and wet in there.....perfect conditions for mold. He took the insulation out, sealed it up and left it to dry over night. So Elliot got to have a sleep over in Mommy and Daddy's room. That was Thursday night. And since I don't usually get the chance to blog until bedtime you can see why I missed "Thankful Thursday". You can also see that we have much to be thankful for this week.

Amidst all the emailing, phone calls, maintenance visits, and worrying, we got to hear more of what Elliot meant by "Jesus is scaring me". He talked about it a LOT this week. Now I don't know if it was through dreams or other means but Elliot has explained to us that Jesus told him there was dirt in his room that was very bad and he needed to not be in his room, that it wasn't safe. That's why he was unconsolable whenever we tried to get him to go back to sleep in his own bed. Wether you believe in Jesus or not, or believe that He cares for the welfare of one small boy or not, there is no denying that someone or something was watching out for our little boy. I, for one, find it perfectly reasonable that Elliot would be visited in a dream (or however) by a gentle and loving Savior. And that He would explain to my son, in words he could understand, that his room was not a safe place to be, and that no matter how annoyed his parents might be he needed to be out of his room.

On Friday they replaced the insulation and put up new dry wall. And Elliot slept all night. Without a single peep. In his own bed. He slept even better last night. And he told us this morning, without us even asking, that the "Jesus scares are all gone", that his room is clean and he is happy now.

He's in his room snoring right now. And we have much to be thankful for.

The Verdict

With the holidays and Evie's birthday I haven't done so well with keeping up with the blog. There are a lot of things to catch up. I hope to remember them all and get to them this week, including Christmas pictures and 1st birthday pictures.

But FIRST......

Last year, some of you may remember, I entered the LDS church art competition. I completed my piece in October and sat back and patiently anxiously waited for a response. Well, right around Christmas time I got my answer.

And the verdict waaaaaaaaaasssssss........







NO!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Not really, but I was a LOT slightly disappointed. I really thought I had a shot. I got my rejection letter on Christmas Eve (Merry Christmas to me, right?).

BJ seems to think that was a good sign though. That it came late so maybe it made it far in the judging process. Like, maybe they sent the letters out in waves. Everyone was supposed to be notified one way or the other by December 31st, so maybe if it came that late it was one of the last ones(or close to last) cut. Maybe. He's either right or I just have the best, most sensitive husband ever. Or maybe it's both :)

Even with the disappointing news I can be content with the fact that I kept a promise to myself. I promised I would enter the contest and I actually followed through. Plus, it got me drawing again. I haven't worked on my art for quite a long time. Since before Elliot was born at the very least. And if I keep practicing I'll only get better from here.

There's always next time, right?

This Night, Last Year

I couldn't sleep then either. I was too anxious about heading to the hospital first thing in the morning to finally meet my baby girl. I was nervous about having another c-section but mostly just excited to hold Evie in my arms for the first time. I can't believe it's been a whole year. Now she's walking all over, and even starting to talk. Time goes by so quickly.

Tonight, I guess I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about last year.

Elliot spent the night at my mom's house so we wouldn't have to wake him up so early. We had to be to the hospital by 5 am, I think. It might have been earlier. I can't remember for sure. Just like my c-section with Elliot, the nurse had to call the anesthesiologist to place my IV.....I have bad veins and she couldn't get it. And before I knew it I was laying on the operating table waiting for my second baby to be born. I remember listening to my doctors talk to each other. The one that was assisting wished the other a Happy Birthday and he said it was a great day to be born. Funny how Evie shares a birthday with the doctor that delivered her. It wasn't very long until I heard her crying. It was such a beautiful sound.....one I didn't hear for quite a while with Elliot. They took her to the opposite corner of the room to get her cleaned up. BJ couldn't keep his eyes from the corner of the room. I could tell that he didn't want to leave me but that he wanted to be with her too. So I told him to go.

After a couple minutes the nurse brought her over to me. She took her little hat off to show me that she had red hair and then she rested her on my shoulder so I could say hello and give her a kiss. It was comforting for us both to have her near me. But the doctors needed to examine her and make sure she was okay, so she and BJ went to the nursery while my doctors finished stitching me up. They wheeled me to recovery. I thought I would be there for a while. That is how I remembered it from when Elliot was born. This time was a lot different though. I was in a room all by myself. BJ was with Evie and we told everyone else to wait to come until later. And I was only there a short time before the nurses came back and took me to my room.

When I got to my room, BJ was still with Evie. So I called my mom to tell her the surgery was done, I was fine, BJ was still with the baby, and she could come up any time she wanted. It didn't even cross my mind that Evie was having any troubles.....I just thought that BJ couldn't tear himself away from his little princess. He's always wanted a little girl after all. So it wasn't until much later when I found out she had had a little breathing trouble and spent some time on a c-pap. I slept a little before my mom came. While she was there was when BJ and Evie finally came back. She was so beautiful and absolutely perfect. At that moment it seemed so silly that I had ever worried that I wouldn't have enough love for both of my babies.

It was a lot easier to recover from that second c-section. It did take a while to adjust to two kids. But now we wonder how we ever got along without her. She's amazing and we love her SO much. She's our angel. Happy Birthday baby girl, we love you!!

A Big Change

And an equally big boy!

Yesterday was Elliot's first day of Primary. He moved up from nursery to the Sunbeam class at church. It's a really big change. He has to sit still, have a real lesson, and he doesn't get playtime anymore.

We've been prepping him for this change for a couple weeks and he seemed to be okay with the idea. But on Saturday night, when we were talking about what to expect at church the next day, he seemed a little apprehensive. After he went to sleep I had a long chat with my mom and she convinced me that I might have to go with him the first time or two. So I mentally prepared myself for going to Primary.

During Sacrament meeting, his teacher stood up to bear her testimony. When she did, I quietly leaned over to Elliot and said "look Elliot, that is your new teacher!" in the most excited whisper I could manage. He looked up at her and listened carefully to what she said then he looked at me and smiled. When it was time for Primary, we walked to the Primary room and his teacher was there waiting. I was prepared for tears and a bunch of "no, Mommy....don't leave me"s but he just grabbed her hand and went right in. Without a single peep.

After the meetings were over I went to pick him up and he looked a little sad. His teacher was holding his hand, and as soon as he saw me he started to cry. It turns out he had gotten a paper cut and his finger was bleeding. He kept saying "I not get cut, I'm fine now, I not hurt.......I'm better now". He wasn't worried about his cut finger at all. He was worried that since he had cut his finger at Primary that we weren't going to let him go back! Silly boy! I guess you could say we've been a little overprotective if that's the first thing he thought of :)

He doesn't have a thing to worry about. We are just relieved that he had a good time. And we hope he has as much fun next week!